Thursday, 02 October 2008
-
?
Who am I?
No, that's too cliche to be the only question in a post.
Why am I not happy? When does the heart stop breaking? When does the pain go away? Would I ever forget? Would I at least remember and not feel hurt? Who can I turn to if I cant even really explain it myself? Why does the pain not lessen? How can I numb myself from pain? When will I start falling for the right guy? Why did she have to go? Why did it happen so fast? If I visited one more time, would I still feel this guilt? Do I have to carry this guilt all throughout my life? If I couldn't reach out to her then, would I ever? If I am the one who should have one, why haven't I? Am I perhaps the biggest hypocrite? What do I do when I feel like I'm getting some sort of anxiety attack? How do I deal with this pressure? What if I can't become the person I want to be? When will it be my turn? Why do we try at all? How do you stop the tears? What if no one comes? Who would come? What if I become unafraid of the final act? How do we stop when it hurts to breathe? At what point might it be okay to give up? Is it okay to be happy? What do I do about this loneliness? What happens when I no longer have a reason? How do you start over without losing the things that matter? When is lying okay? How do you erase the memories that hurt the living hell out of you? How do you ask the questions that mean life and death? What makes them better or me worse? What did I do wrong? Was I selfish? Why wasn't I given the chance to say goodbye? If you were so righteous about being honest, why did I have to find out the way I did? If I ever allowed myself to stop hurting, would it be wrong as well? Why did I reveal that small vulnerable truth to you? Can I handle it if you hurt me as well? Why do we betray? How do we stop the 'word-vomit'? Can we really love our family unconditionally, or are there restrictions to even that? When do we know? Why me? Why six times? Why am I always the one to try? What happens when one day I'm tired of being the 'bigger person' and done apologizing? How do they achieve that 'perfection'? Why am I so easy to see through? What happens when I fail? What happens when I succeed? Will I always be afraid?
Why the questions? Who's got the answers?
Do I even want them answered?



Post a Comment