Sunday, 09 November 2008

  • She's feeling lucky

    wins of 2008! =) 
     [yes, this is a form of bragging and also a show as to how much time i have on my hands to enter contests in the first place. haha.] hopefully, you'll see the re-posting of this entry again and again and again. hehe.

    - $1000 shopping spree from Cadillac Fairview
    - "The Black Sheep" by Yvonne Collins & Sandy Rideout
    - "Love Stars with Elle" by Rachel Hauck
    - Jonas Brothers dress rehearsal wristbands (okay, fine. Stina won them but she wouldn't have without my heads-up. haha.)
    - "The Elite" by Jennifer Banash
    - "The Boleyn Inheritance" by Phillipa Gregory
    - "Dating the Younger Man" by Cyndi Targosz
    - "No One You Know" by Michelle Richmond
    - "Abberations" by Penelope Pzrekop (two copies!)
    - "The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder" by Vincent Bugliosi
    - "Sucks to be Me" by Kimberley Pauley (ARC- Advance Reading Copy!)
    - The History Channel: Life After People DVD
    - "Violet on the Runway"by Melissa Walker
    - "Violet by Design" by Melissa Walker
    - "Violet in Private"(ARC) by Melissa Walker
    - Kung Fu Panda Acitivity DVD
    - "The Comeback Season" by Jennifer E. Smith
    - Gold Deluxe Edition Parfum Spray of M by Mariah Carey
    - Mariah Carey's album "E=MC2"
    - "The Geography of Love" by Glenda Burgess
    - "The Darren Effect" by Libby Creelman
    - "First Daughter" by Eric Van Lustbader
    - "Schooled" by Anisha Lakhani
    - "Buyology" by Martin Lindstrom
    - "Broken" by Daniel Clay
    - "Hannah's Dream" by Diane Hammond
    - "The Shiniest Jewel" by Marian Henley
    - "Blindness" by Jose Saramago
    - Advance screening of "The Secret Life of Bees"
    - "The Perfect Cut" by Julie Burtinshaw
    - Advance screening of "Max Payne"
    - "Gods Behaving Badly" by Marie Phillips
    - "A Lion Among Men" (ARC) by Gregory Maguire
    - "The Law of Three" by Caroline Pattison
    - "The Paper Bag Christmas" by Kevin Milne
    - "Stealing Heaven" by Elizabeth Scott
    - "Swimming" by Joanna Hershon

Thursday, 02 October 2008

  • ends&heads of things.

    goodbye little carmen.
    hello almost-professional ms/miss tsang.

    goodbye overemotional &sentimental blogs.
    hello undercover blog and journals.

    goodbye xanga.

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    .
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    .



  • ?

    Who am I?
    No, that's too cliche to be the only question in a post.
    Why am I not happy? When does the heart stop breaking? When does the pain go away? Would I ever forget? Would I at least remember and not feel hurt? Who can I turn to if I cant even really explain it myself? Why does the pain not lessen? How can I numb myself from pain? When will I start falling for the right guy? Why did she have to go? Why did it happen so fast? If I visited one more time, would I still feel this guilt? Do I have to carry this guilt all throughout my life? If I couldn't reach out to her then, would I ever? If I am the one who should have one, why haven't I? Am I perhaps the biggest hypocrite? What do I do when I feel like I'm getting some sort of anxiety attack? How do I deal with this pressure? What if I can't become the person I want to be? When will it be my turn? Why do we try at all? How do you stop the tears? What if no one comes? Who would come? What if I become unafraid of the final act? How do we stop when it hurts to breathe? At what point might it be okay to give up? Is it okay to be happy? What do I do about this loneliness? What happens when I no longer have a reason? How do you start over without losing the things that matter? When is lying okay? How do you erase the memories that hurt the living hell out of you? How do you ask the questions that mean life and death? What makes them better or me worse? What did I do wrong? Was I selfish? Why wasn't I given the chance to say goodbye? If you were so righteous about being honest, why did I have to find out the way I did? If I ever allowed myself to stop hurting, would it be wrong as well? Why did I reveal that small vulnerable truth to you? Can I handle it if you hurt me as well? Why do we betray? How do we stop the 'word-vomit'? Can we really love our family unconditionally, or are there restrictions to even that? When do we know? Why me? Why six times? Why am I always the one to try? What happens when one day I'm tired of being the 'bigger person' and done apologizing? How do they achieve that 'perfection'? Why am I so easy to see through? What happens when I fail? What happens when I succeed? Will I always be afraid?
    Why the questions? Who's got the answers?
    Do I even want them answered?

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

  • The Week

    This year's schedule is a bit crazier.
     
    The life in a week of yours truly:

    School
    - 19 to 22 hours of classes
    - 3.5 hours at school on break between classes
    - unaccounted hours for reading and homeworking
    - 2 hours of community placement
    - unaccounted hours for journals after placements and preps
    - 8 to 10 hours of TTCing

    Work
    - 4 hours of teaching
    - 2-3 hours of marking and grading
    - 2-3 hours of lesson planning, revising homework, revising tests and exams, calling absentees, and prepping

    "Me" Time
    - 1 hour of Gossip Girl
    - 1 hour of Grey's Anatomy
    - 1 hour of Heroes

    Here's to hoping that I last until June. =)



  • Visit c_alexis's Xanga Site
    • Name: Carmen
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/15/2007
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